Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Stating the Obvious

Stories that mention price ranges often include superfluous marketing-speak:

Houses in the development are priced at $259,990 to $399,990, depending on the model, options and lot selected.

As opposed to depending on the spin of a "Wheel of Fortune"-style contraption or depending on the buyer's religion and skin color? Unless a "depending on" clause is going to tell readers something they don't already know, skip it.


MuPu said...

I would consider those 9-filled prices to be marketing-speak, too.

Better: Houses in the development are priced from around $260,000 to around $400,000.

My way, dammit: Houses in the development are priced between $260,000 and $400,000.

Autumn said...

Why not just say the houses are $259,000 to $400,000? Or whatever the numbers were. What's the point of between and and?

Bill said...

It's just a made-up example, folks; let's stay focused and not go off on a tangent about how that's way too much money to spend in today's uncertain housing market.

Unknown said...

Isn't it the case that much of the content (if that is what it really is) of these items is usually taken verbatim from a press release or other such publication? We're probably lucky whenever an article doesn't mention the fabulous 32-foot frontage, the easy access to Lake Puddle, and the basement that doubles as an indoor pool during the rainy season.

Bill, you are right about the offending clause. It's a sign of lazy writing.

Unknown said...

Hello !

Best regards from Brussels...Belgium.